The Wind Beneath My Nostrils

So, I was on the TreadClimber this morning, having an awesome time sweating and breathing heavily, when all of a sudden I smelled the unmistakable stench of fart. I quickly brought my sweat towel up to my nose, thinking that my own funk would be better than the deathly wind that accosted my nostrils. I surreptitiously looked to my left and saw the woman on the elliptical fanning her nose as well; the guy on the recumbent cycle on my right had temporarily plugged his own schnozz. This made me count them out as the possible culprits. Which meant only one thing: the guy on the treadmill in front of all of us must have been the one to have passed gas just then. Okay, I’m all for bodily functions being all natural, yada, yada, yada. But, I also believe that there’s a time and place for everything. And, if it had only happened once during his workout, I probably would’ve been open to accepting it as an accidental release on his part. But, it happened again. Two more times. How fucking rude!