All About Jon

I am a fairly decent human being who is rapidly aging. I shave with the hope of being carded at bars.

I appreciate a good laugh, especially at the expense of other people.

I’ve stopped talking to animals. Well, okay, not completely.

I live in the rain puddle of America called Portland. That’s in Oregon, the state that brought you such frightening wonders as the Ducks, the Beavers, and the Trail Blazers.

I love to read and write. These days, I’m also learning math.

I consider coffee shops and breakfast diners safe havens. It’s where I would go in the likely event of a nuclear fallout.

I hate David Spade and Chevy Chase.

I love appreciate hashbrowns periodically.

I believe Stephen King is a prophet, as are Dan Brown and Harlan Coben.

I still believe in no longer watch “Heroes.” Go Screw you, Tim Kring!

I aspire to be a professional “Before” model. You know, the one who would pose for the “Before Weight Loss,” “Before Plastic Surgery,” “Before Viagra” pictures– those kinds of things. Yeah, I would strike it rich with that gig.

I hated P.E. but loved to wear short shorts.

I think voyeurism is so underrated.

p.s. “Jon” is my nickname.