Bullet Thoughts // 10.09.08

  • I’ve been thinking a lot about zombies these days.  Like, for instance, I realized that zombies don’t sweat.  It could be a hundred and two degrees outside and they would be as dry as November leaves.  Saunas and steam rooms will be wasted on them.  Antiperspirants will never be on their grocery lists.  (Deodorants, maybe; but never antiperspirants.)  Another zombie-related thought that pervades me every morning is that I always feel a horde of them is hiding in the shadows just outside my house, and are waiting to pounce on (and eat) me as soon as I lock the door from the outside.  You see, I leave the house fairly early, while it’s dark out.  In other words, the perfect recipe for a zombie-related disaster.  So, what do I do these days?  I look outside my windows first before opening the door.  So far, I’ve been lucky, and haven’t fallen prey to shadow-hiding zombies.  But it’ll take only one careless morning…
  • You know when you’ve cut too much of a fingernail but you didn’t know it until the exposed cuticle of that particular finger gets wet?  Well, that happens to me.  A lot.  And often it’s on my thumb of forefinger — you know, only two of the most used fingers on the hand.  And the other unfortunate thing about it is that the problem doesn’t go away until the nail has enmeshed with the surrounding cuticle again, which could take some time.  So, meanwhile, you have to grin and bear the pain.  I wish they’d invent a nail clipper that would prevent (apparently stupid) people like myself from cutting off too much of the nail.  It could just stop cutting when it senses that the user would end up cutting too much.  Sort of like a gas pump nozzle that stops dispensing gas when it senses that the tank is already full, preventing overfilling.  Yeah, something like that would be awesome.
  • I’ve been hearing on the radio and seeing on TV commercials about the one-dollar coin, and how using it could help the economy.  How. The. Hell?  With merchant services continuing to shift toward electronic commerce, which, obviously, takes full advantage of the fact that nearly everyone in the U.S. has some form of debit or credit card — and our journey toward being a cashless society — why would the government want to push the use of the coin?  It seems somewhat ass-backwards to me.  I mean, I know I don’t like carrying coins, which often end up in the ash tray of my vehicle and are eventually dispensed to roadside panhandlers.  And, most of the coin-operated machines do not take the one-dollar coin, what good is an advertising campaign encouraging its use?  It’s senseless and reeks of Bushidity, IMO.

7 Responses to “Bullet Thoughts // 10.09.08”

  1. 1 DAVE ID October 10, 2008 at 7:06 pm

    Just carry a boomstick and aim for the head.

    I used to play online shooters so much that at work when the elevator doors open, my first reflex is I want to pop a grenade inside the elevator to clear it before I go in. Signs that you’ve played way to much FPS games.

  2. 2 jonsquared October 11, 2008 at 8:59 am

    thanks for the sound advice, DAVE

    and, don’t get me started on video games. sometimes, i delude myself into thinking that i truly know kung fu in real life.

  3. 3 John October 13, 2008 at 11:50 am

    #1 you have too much free time.

    #2 switching to the dollar coin would help in that the gov’t wouldn’t have to continue printing the paper ones. The coins last MUCH longer, so the investment (on the gov’t part) is smaller. BUT… Americans won’t change unless they have to. Does the date February 19, 2009 mean anything to you? It should. Thats the date (allegedly) broadcast TV switches to digital and Grandma won’t get to see her programs any more. The Canadians have a coin, there is a coin Euro… everyone’s doing it. The Mint just needs to set a date.

  4. 4 Bryan October 13, 2008 at 6:17 pm

    Jon, the first two bullets prove that you have earned your blog’s tagline!

  5. 5 jonsquared October 13, 2008 at 6:32 pm

    @ John – see if you don’t feel the same if you too weren’t zombie fodder; and yes, i agree with you that the dollar coin would last longer than the dollar bill, and, therefore, can be considered more economical as well as– and this might be stretching it– environmentally friendly. but why make coins when nearly every transaction can be done electronically? therein lies my query…

    @ Bryan – aww, shucks!

  6. 6 nectarfizz October 15, 2008 at 2:20 pm

    Your thoughts on Zombies, nail clippers and coins…leave me realizing Jon..that you can make ANYTHING interesting. Damn, you are good!

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