Wanna Live Forever?

Immortality Rings?

Immortality Rings?

The makers of these rings claim that centrifugal kinesis — a mechanism built into the rings — helps in stunting the aging process and even reversing it.  On their website, they’ve listed some “side effects” such as “Stimulated Neural Activity,” “Aphrodisiacal Responses,” “Heightened Awareness,” “Increased Vitality,” and “Gerascophobia.”  They also stated:

This long awaited advancement fulfills mankind’s desire to cure mortality, making this one of the defining moments of our existence. In an attempt to keep population issues at bay, only 1000 people from the year 2007 will be able to participate, we invite you.

There is a counter on their website which states that there are “926 rings remaining.”  I guess the makers are probably wondering how they can convince more people to buy their product.

But, I guess the little byline at the bottom of the page — “As a precaution, all claims made by ImmortalityRing must be interpreted at novelty value.” — provides the biggest clue as to the rings’ efficacy.

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4 Responses to “Wanna Live Forever?”


  1. 1 megan November 9, 2008 at 9:00 pm

    This site is awesome! How did you ever find this?

    I love their justification for spending $25 on a ring:
    “Enjoy the future: Your friends will die off right before things get interesting, stay around to see firsthand what the future holds.”
    Hey, it’s just $25 – money well spent, if you outlive your worthless friends who didn’t buy one, too.

    It could actually look fairly legit (save the disclaimer and cheesy claims of immortality). But then I noticed a number of major spelling errors (“suprizingly”). Too bad…

  2. 2 mandythompson November 11, 2008 at 10:10 am

    ah huh…

    My husband and I have spent many 3-day weekends down in St. Augustine, Fla… But we never found that fountain of youth either. At least, not one that worked!

  3. 3 jonsquared November 13, 2008 at 6:21 pm

    @ megan – yup, it was the spelling errors that did them in… 🙂

    @ mandy – do you think i’ll find it in miami? i’ll be there later this month…

  4. 4 nectarfizz December 3, 2008 at 9:58 am

    Snicker…


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