Bullet Thoughts // 11.29.08

I’m convinced that I must stutter.  That or Miami-based Starbucks are just not used to making ‘hot’ coffee drinks that they’ve gotten my order wrong at multiple locations (the only exception being that at Miami-Dade International Airport).  ‘No room’– which, to those of you who are unfamiliar with Starbucks speech, means to not allow any space for cream– seems an alien concept to the Floridians, who are no doubt more accustomed to iced versions of their more popular beverages.  I think, however, that what was actually happening this weekend was that the ‘regular’ staff must’ve had the Thanksgiving holiday off, which, therefore, meant that the area Starbucks locations were manned with relief or (even more alarming) ‘temp’ employees.  Tis the holiday season.  But, at least, at Starbucks, you won’t end up getting trampled on by caffeine addicts.  One couldn’t say the same about the poor Wal-Mart employee in New York state who lost his life because some shoppers were obssessed with the floating smiley face.  Poor bastard…

—-

I realized that it would be impossible for me to wear a confident face whilst running on the sandy beaches of Miami.  I must’ve looked quite pathetic this morning, in particular, while I attempted to run even one mile.  The shoes I wore were definitely not meant for sand-running.  Ever step sank in the soft sand.  I realize that I probably should’ve been running closer to the water, where the sand was a bit more firm.  So, I took my shoes off and proceeded to run as if I was taping a Baywatch commercial.  At best, I probably looked like David Hasselhoff‘s retarded Asian brother.  This is not to say that David himself isn’t retarded.  I’m sorry; I’m being insensitive.  I meant to say ‘mentally challenged’…

—-

One thing about Miami, nay– South Beach, in particular– is that people live to look good.  The women are like models, wearing the typical tropical attire: tight, tight, and tight.  Oh, and tight.  And the men (most of whom are undoubtedly flying the rainbow flag) appear as though they spend half their days inside the gym.  Another thing about Miami, however, is the prevalence of the walking cane crowd, the elderly from the northeast who have decided that they enjoy eternal sunshine for their spotless minds.  And they’re incredibly/maniacally active, often seen walking or running as only Florida’s weather can allow.  I say “Good for you, Grandma or Grandpa!  Now, if you don’t mind, get the hell out of my way…”

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3 Responses to “Bullet Thoughts // 11.29.08”


  1. 1 goodbear November 30, 2008 at 7:29 am

    so, . . . i never knew about the no-room thing. good thing i didn’t apply to starbucks.

    sorry to hear you wont be in the cast of “baywatch: the movie”.

  2. 2 jonsquared December 1, 2008 at 7:48 am

    i’ll get over it someday…

  3. 3 nectarfizz December 3, 2008 at 10:17 am

    That is just insane..lets kill someone so we can get something for 50% off…I really hate this stuff..makes me mad..a human life is not the equivalent of a Barbie doll marked 1/2 off no matter who asked for it for Christmas. How on earth does one explain to the family of this man that greed was more important than stepping gently around a person who has fallen..or GOD FORBID actually stopping long enough to help the guy up. We are consumers should be ashamed.


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