Youth: The Disappearing Act

Clearly not old enough...

Clearly not old enough...

It came very suddenly.  I got old.

I could remember up until last month when I would constantly get carded at bars and would elicit a surprised expression from the server or bartender when they find out my actual age.  “You definitely look younger,” they would coo and, therefore, guarantee an awesome tip from me.

These days, they take one look and they know that, not only am I old enough to legally consume alcohol, I was just plain old.  I can certainly see it on my face now, which features a few more lines that didn’t exist perhaps three or four months ago.

The saddest part is that these lines appeared in conjunction with my weight-loss.  My skin was stretched out and smooth before.  Now, they don’t have as much pushing outward at it.  A co-worker recently told me that I have noticeable laugh lines.

Not that I’m bothered about aging, mind you.

It’s just that it seemed to have snuck up on me.

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13 Responses to “Youth: The Disappearing Act”


  1. 1 nectarfizz January 24, 2009 at 8:41 pm

    I know…I have grey hair on my head…Miss Clairol and I are not only on speaking terms..she has taken up friendship status…sigh,

  2. 2 megan January 25, 2009 at 7:01 am

    I’m still carded almost every time, which I still find a novelty after ten years, so I’m afraid I can’t feel your pain there. However, although my age hasn’t begun showing in my face, I’ve noticed that the grey hairs have been coming in at an exponential rate over the past month or so. Like you, it doesn’t really bother me so much, because I don’t really mind getting older, but I am surprised at their sudden appearance.

    On an unrelated note, the eyes on that baby creep me the hell out.

  3. 3 jonsquared January 25, 2009 at 9:54 am

    @ Bekki – I can’t imagine anyone (or anything) not taking up friendship status with you. 🙂

    @ Megan – That baby is a shoe-in for any sequels to the Damian movies…

  4. 4 smysore January 25, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    Hmmm, may be that’ll be my excuse to keep all the extra pounds around!

  5. 5 jonsquared January 25, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    @ smysore – too funny!

  6. 6 Bryan January 25, 2009 at 9:22 pm

    Megan: Thanks for bragging about getting carded all the time. We old fogies really appreciate you rubbing it in. 🙂

    Jon: Congrats on the weight loss. I had never really considered this unfortunate side effect. But it’s worth it.

  7. 7 jonsquared January 25, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    ha! i almost got carded tonight at a bar. when i ordered my drink, the laid-back bartender asked “you’re over 21, right?” to which i replied in the positive. it was *almost* like being carded!

    sigh…

  8. 8 megan January 26, 2009 at 11:36 am

    Bryan: This is the time in my life when I can enjoy looking like I’m younger than I actually am, and I intend to take full advantage of it. The way I figure it, one cloudy day in about 15 years age will hit me all at once after a restless night’s sleep, as if I were Dorian Gray and my portrait had been destroyed. My hair will completely turn grey, my face and hands will wrinkle, bags will fall from beneath my eyes, my boobs will lose their semi-perkiness, and my butt will look like someone shoved two throw pillows down my pants. I assume that the shock of suddenly looking so much older will send me into a deep depression, thus making me turn to alcohol and unfiltered cigarettes, which will be sold to me without question from the young wise asses behind the counter at the liquor store.

    That’s why I envy people who look their age. They will never be struck with the shock of sudden and unexpected wrinkles, and therefore are less likely to drown their sorrows in the liquor they are no longer carded for.

    In actuality, I’ve been carded for drinks less and less frequently over the past year. But for some reason I’m still carded for smokes every time…

  9. 9 Bryan January 27, 2009 at 12:10 am

    No worries Megan, live it up. I’m just flipping you crap.

    I got carded at Wal-Mart tonight. It was by a 60-something cashier. She says she basically cards anyone she thinks is younger than she is. I told her that I might just have to give her a big hug for carding me. 🙂

  10. 10 megan January 27, 2009 at 5:59 am

    Haha – I know you were, Bryan, and I plan to! 🙂

    I was out to dinner with my dad a few weeks ago, and I was carded. I honestly didn’t mind, but my dad must have thought otherwise – he told me to enjoy it while I could. But it turns out our server was like yours at Wal-Mart: much older than my dad and of the mindset that everyone under 70 should be carded. For some reason this annoyed him.

    I love it when people card me, but they only take the slightest glance at my ID, so quickly that there was no physical way they could have seen my birthdate. I’m sure they do it just so they don’t get flak from the manager. I figure that if you’re going to card someone, card them well. I have an appreciation for those who actually take the time to search for your birthdate (always fun when you flash an out-of-state license).

  11. 11 jonsquared January 27, 2009 at 7:17 am

    it’d be funner if they frisked you in addition to carding. then, you know they mean business…

  12. 12 jwdoom January 30, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    This happened to me when the wrinkles popped up on my forehead. That was a sad day.

  13. 13 jonsquared January 30, 2009 at 9:18 pm

    @ J-Dub – what wrinkles?


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