Vocabulary Under The Influence

Got this in an email and thought it was quite funny. 🙂

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1.  Innovative
2.  Preliminary
3.  Proliferation
4.  Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1.  Specificity
2.  Anti-constitutionalistically
3.  Passive-aggressive disorder
4.  Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1.  No thanks, I’m married.
2.  Nope, no more booze for me!
3.  Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4.  Taco Bell?  No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5.  Good evening, Officer.  Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6.  Oh, I couldn’t!  No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7.  I’m not interested in fighting you.
8.  Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance,! I have no coordination, I’d hate to look like a fool!
9.  Where is the nearest bathroom?  I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10.  I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.

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10 Responses to “Vocabulary Under The Influence”


  1. 1 DAVE ID March 2, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    Some of these I have trouble saying sober, but then I am weak.

    Inevitability <- hard to say no matter how sober you are. At least for me.

  2. 2 jonsquared March 2, 2009 at 2:34 pm

    Hahaha! Sho you right!

  3. 3 Danielle March 2, 2009 at 6:00 pm

    I find this email highly inaccurate. Seeing as Nos. 9 and 10 seem to come out of my mouth semi-regularly during friendly gatherings. Minus the parking lot part.

  4. 4 jonsquared March 2, 2009 at 6:41 pm

    Danielle, clearly you weren’t drinking enough alcohol then…

  5. 5 goodbear March 2, 2009 at 8:18 pm

    hilarious. just hilarious!
    and…nice to have a fluffy post that is just fun!

  6. 7 Danielle March 3, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    You’re probably right. I would most likely use the work morning as an excuse to NOT drink, haha! But a lady NEVER pees in a parking lot. And I am a lady. 🙂

  7. 8 jonsquared March 3, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    @ goodbear – alcohol IS funny!

    @ megan – uh, yup.

    @ danielle – i don’t know… 😉

  8. 9 Danielle March 4, 2009 at 11:57 am

    I hope you’re talking about the pee part, and not the lady part. I don’t want to have to prove anything….


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