Gagging In The Name of Love

Okay, so I gotta talk about gym etiquette once again. This time, I wish to focus on body odor. There are a couple of people– one’s a guy; the other a girl– who go to my gym that exude such vomit-inducing odor that I literally gag every time they come my way. It’s even worse when they’re in the vicinity of the machine I happen to be using at the time, and I would feel compelled to hold my breath while doing my set.  Holding one’s breath while exercising is never a good thing, so I end up just doing a short set and moving the hell away.

Now, I know what you may be thinking– “C’mon, Jon.  People sweat.  Lighten the fuck up.”  Yes, I know that sweating and body odor is a natural reaction to physical exertion.  I understand that, but we’re talking about pit smell here– this isn’t stink; it’s stank— one that could easily be avoided by applying some deodorant before the workout.  This thing is nasty with a capital N.

There’s no real way to address this, of course.  I would feel like such a tool going up to the gym attendants and asking them to talk to these pungent members.  God knows I would never address it directly.

Do I just grin and bear this?  Is there any way out?


3 Responses to “Gagging In The Name of Love”

  1. 1 that girl March 19, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    You should go to the gym with a friend and have a loud, pre-fabricated conversation near the people without every looking at them.

    You: Friend, do you smell something?
    Friend: I think I do…. Is it me? (He smells himself.)
    You: No, I don’t think it’s you…. Is it me? (Smell yourself.)
    Friend: No, but something stanks.
    You: Let’s go over there.

    Print this and rehearse. haha. Maybe if they hear you, they will smell themselves and pass out.

  2. 2 jonsquared March 19, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    that is totally genius, girl!

  3. 3 j3ntan April 25, 2010 at 8:45 am

    I’m not above pointing and gagging myself. I’ve also plugged my nose with my fingers and breathed thru my mouth (very obviously) it’s like a noxious cloud that occupies the airspace 4-5 ft around him.

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