WTF? // 07.31.08

One “Hell” of a Ride

After much deliberation, I finally broke down and saw Hellboy II: The Golden Army yesterday and I can sum it up in two words: Awe. Some.

Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Hmm, I think Jon meant to write awesome, which clearly is just one word, not two. Why the hell is he being such a f**king idiot?”  I’m not being an idiot.  I actually wanted to love this movie, especially since I had anticipated its arrival in the theaters for quite a while.  However, my hesitation– it turned out– was well-grounded.  The movie was only awesome some of the time.

Awe. Some.

Don’t get me wrong; I liked the movie. It was visually stunning and the details were meticulous.  It seemed that whatever minutiae they found to be wrong visually with the first film, they’d caught, corrected and even perfected.  I’m sure it helped to have Guillermo del Toro at the helm.  After all, the one who brought us Pan’s Labyrinth couldn’t possibly go wrong.  Indeed, when it came to the various monsters that run amuck throughout the film, del Toro certainly didn’t disappoint.  The rich (and often artistic) cinematography had his unmistakable signature too.  And the fight scenes, especially those between Hellboy and Prince Nuada, were quite gripping, well-choreographed, and exceptionaly kinetic.

But— and it’s a big but– the movie also took us to the thresholds of campiness that I personally wasn’t willing to come near. I can deal with the “Oh, crap” bylines and other unspoken/unstated examples of the ridiculous, which are at the very nucleus of this franchise and are what make the roguish characters so darn likable. But, to include a scene where Hellboy and Abe suddenly break into song was, in a word, senseless (pronounced “useless”).

Are you confused about my title then?  Don’t be.  I did like the movie.  So much so that I would probably own it once it comes out on DVD.  However, this doesn’t remove the fact that it wasn’t completely awesome.  It was just awe…some.

Effed-Up Doctor/Patient Conversation

“Mr. Johnson, we really have to treat your tinnitus.”

“What?!”

“I said we really have to treat your tinnitus!”

“Sorry, doc, I can barely hear you!  There’s a loud buzzing in my ears!”

WTF?

Roundabout Surprise

Antes (Before)

This song by Obie Bermudez introduced me to the wonderful world of contemporary Latin music:

Antes

TGIF!

It’s Friday!  You know what that means?  That’s right– time to visit Shady Palms Retirement Home and pick up on chicks, yeah!  Although I’m naturally charming, I need to brush up on my pick-up lines.  So, I went to About.com and found some pretty snazzy ones (WARNING: some may not be suitable for all bloggers). Here’s a short sampling:

“I think you’ve got something in your eye.  Oh never mind; it’s just a sparkle.”

“You must be Jamaican, ’cause Jamaican me crazy.”

“Quick, somebody call the cops!  You just stole my heart.”

Here’s a couple of lines the ladies can use on me:

“Hi.”

“Hey, there.”

“Hello.”

“Excuse me. Do you know where the ladies room is?”

Yeah, baby!  I’m all yours…

CurlyWurlyGurly’s Breakfast in Bed: A Contest!

I was told to pimp it, so I’m pimpin’ it: http://curlywurlygurly.wordpress.com/2008/07/24/breakfast-in-bed-a-contest/

You can win yourself some fabulous prizes not the least of which is a brand-spankin’ new George Forman reversible griddle!

What are you waiting for?!  Click on the link above to join the contest today!

Random Cellphone Image

Rude Armadillo

Blog Stats Update

Since joining WordPress on 11/04/07 with this first post, my blog has been fortunate enough to have been visited 12,444 times (as of 07/20/08).

Exactly what posts got the most traffic? Here are the Top 5 (as of 07/20/08):

Heavy Mettle (1,067 views)

Hancock-Sure (523 views)

Preity Zinta: Very ‘Preity’ (447 views)

All About Jon (375 views)

On This Day in 1993: André the Giant Passed Away (267 views)

How were people finding my blog? Here were the top ‘search engine terms’ (as of 07/20/08):

And, to follow suit on something a fellow blogger once announced on his site, here are fellow bloggers that have been my Top Referrers:

Cody Bear’s Friends

Dad in the Headlights

Darkly Dreaming David

Thanks for the readership! 🙂

You Think That Bedspread Is Clean?

I was in the hotel industry for over 18 years before finally acknowledging that enough was enough. In the nearly two decades that I was immersed in the ins-and-outs of that industry, I discovered many aspects of its operation that the knowledge of which would make anyone outside of the industry cringe. Former industry colleagues of mine who read this blog may view this post as a betrayal of sorts. I would prefer to treat it as a PSA. Besides, some of the items I am about to reveal below have been included in past exposes by popular media, so it’s not like I’m sharing anything that may not have been shared before. Sadly, one post will not be sufficient to share all my findings (or it would be one very long post indeed). So, I’ll be sharing these facts with you in parts.

My first tidbit: Hotel bedspreads are not cleaned between guests.

After a long day of traveling, that hotel bed may seem like an oasis. But before you leap from the floor and allow yourself to dive into the soft fabric of the bedspread, keep in mind that someone else was in that room the night before, and G-d knows what they had done on/to/with that bedspread. Depending on hotel’s par levels and/or hotel rating, bedspreads are cleaned weekly or even monthly unless it has visible stains or some other indication (like odor or wetness) that would require it to be cleaned sooner.

For instance, a 600-room hotel at 80% average occupancy (which means 480 guest rooms are occupied nearly daily) that has heavy “transient” business (pertaining to a room turnover after only one or two nights) rarely has the capacity to be able to clean those bedspreads after each guest departure. To do so would mean that they would have to have at least a “four par” of bedspreads (one on the bed, one dirty, one clean, and one in storage) to be able to change them out daily or as frequently as every guest departure. This would mean having at least 1,900 bedspreads on hand at any given time. Plus, think about the labor, electricity, water, and chemicals (detergents) it would take to make that happen. They add up to one spendy venture. And, with profitability always being in the picture, hoteliers must keep their CPOR (cost per occupied room) at a reasonably low number.

Additionally, Housekeepers (or “Room Attendants” as they are called in the more swanky locales) are given anywhere between 16 to 18 guestrooms to process within an 8-hour period. Making those beds is hard enough–can you truly see them lugging 18 rooms worth of bedspreads around? Unlikely.

So, what do you do?

Remove that bedspread. Most newer hotels– and definitely the swankier ones– no longer provide bedspreads and have opted for the more “chic” look of a duvet. You truly don’t need it to sleep especially if the hotel room has individual climate control that you can adjust to keep yourself warm during your evening’s slumber.

However, if you must have a bedspread (due perhaps to some Linus complex), ask the staff to provide you a new or clean bedspread to replace the one that came with your room when you checked in. Expect to receive snide remarks uttered behind your back or eye-rolling on the other side of that telephone. But, at least you will have decreased your chances of having your cheeks meet the surface of a potentially dirty bedspread.

Granted, luxury hotels like the Ritz-Carlton or Four Seasons might actually change their bedspreads after every guest, but I implore you to take no chances. And, while you’re at it, ask for a new, clean blanket to replace the one your bed was made with. Chances are that it wasn’t switched up from the previous guest’s use either.

There you have it. More to follow soon. 😉